It's been a long time. I have been so out of it lately. This funk has really got me down. I'm trying to stay positive, but I'm finding myself knee deep in negativity. I have a friend who is hopefully going to help me out with a cleansing ceremony to help clean some of this stuff out. I feel so weighed down.
In the mean time, I've been trying to start The Artist Way again, but I keep...forgetting about it? Being too busy? I don't know. Coming up with any and every reason not to do the morning pages. I'm really going to try, but it's hard. I guess that's kind of the point.
So, the other day, during the full moon, I did two tarot readings. One, what I need to do to get my career going, and two, how to handle this negativity and where do I go, spiritually, from here.
I am confused by a couple points, so some feedback is really appreciated and welcome.
The fool spread
1. Me, in this situation, in the present: Knight of Coins
Useful person, competent, mature, stable, practical, application of talent and potential, hard worker, goals, beginning a new stage of work, career development, careful preparation, consistent effort made. Auspicious event on the horizon, learning through apprenticeship, new eyes, carrying jobs with determination and focus.
2. What I've relied on in the past: Chariot R
Inaction, impatience, collapse of plans, unrealistic, incomplete work. Ok, so is this what I've done in the past? What I need to overcome?
3. Risks I need to take to move forward Page of Cups
Inspiration, creativity, invitation or offer coming, new plans, trustworthy person, new talent put to practical use, results in serenity and happiness, new relationships, new phase. Intention determined and linked with planning for emotional change, emotional realizations, perceptions, awareness, new social contacts, period of withdrawal for introspection.
4. Fears, which can be real or imaginary, grounded in the reason of the situation or founded in panic.: 4 of Wands R
Small reward, disorganization, work dissatisfaction, delays, falling out of love with your choices, disruptions at home.
5. The unknown, what you have to gain, the learning you will come by, the experience and maturity that can be had, the life you can be living 9 of Swords R
Oppressed by troubles, opposition to ideas raises self-doubt, impaired communication
Ace of Swords R Obstacles, inaction, embarrassment, tyranny, hindrance, plans delayed.
What does that mean? Any ideas?
6. Advice Temperance
Need for harmony of the rational and the intuitive, blending of ideas, inspiration,
Negativity and Spirituality
My own spread
1. Current Situation The Empress R. NOTE: This is a card that I have associated with myself, along with the Q of Swords.
Potential unrecognized, slowed progress, vacillation, blocked creativity NOTE: Blocked Creativity makes me think about my stalling on The Artist's Way
2. Obstacles 10 of Swords
Moving on from hard times, a finality, ability to succeed, tested and surmounted after fear of failure, courage and willpower needed for improvement, extreme change, learning from lessons, accepting that the worst is over, fresh start, new assessment, exhaustion, sadness, able to finish a difficult task.
3. What I should focus on Wheel of Fortune R
Short-term successes, the small thing, new goals replace old ones.
4. Hidden forces at work 3 of Cups, R
Excesses, over indulgence, unappreciated, prestige diminished. Huh? What do you make of this?
5. Emerging forces Knight of Coins R (Note: same card as last reading, but reversed)
Recklessness, foolhardy, moving too quickly, complacent, idleness.
6. Advice The Sun
Achievement, cultivated results, life-giving energy of the sun, happiness from material and physical well-being, results come from hard work, satisfaction of a job well done, growth, children, new beginnings, marriage.
7. Results Knight of Cups, R
Deception, unworkable ideas, opportunistic person, conniving, sly, fraud, schemes, swindler.
Ok, so there you have it. I'd love to hear what you think.