| Wake Up Call |
[Tue 30 Jun @ 7:41am] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 upset |
] |
I went to me best friend Sarah's shower this weekend and had a lovely time. I was running seriously behind that morning, so I threw on a few pieces which I thought were flattering. Unfortunately, seeing the pictures now, I looked so very pregnant. I'm on the left.
This, for me, is sort of a wake up call. Putting off working out, putting off eating right, it's showing very clearly on my body. I have never in my life looked this bad. I am back up to my biggest weight, and I am seriously depressed.
I have to be proactive in this. I can't expect change and results if I don't make a real effort.
I want to get back to this:
It's funny, but I hated that picture when Nathan took it. I thought it made me look fat. Who would have thought that today, it would be a goal.
Tonight, I'm going to the gym. I need to get back in to this.
|
|
| Then and Now - First steps |
[Sat 6 Jun @ 5:07pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 inspired |
] |
So, after having worked out this morning here at home, I decided to remeasure myself to give an accurate idea of what my starting inches are. Despite my fear of doing so, I'm going to post them publicly.
What I was when I started bootcamp, two years ago:
Weight: 156 lbs
Right Bicep: 12 inches
Chest: 36 inches
Abdomen: 31.5 inches
Hips: 42 inches
Right Thigh: 24.5 inches
Calf: 14.3 inches
What I am today:
Weight: 155 lbs
Right Bicep: 12 inches
Chest: 37 inches
Abdomen: 30 inches
Tummy: 37 1/2 inches
Hips: 44 inches
Right Thigh: 25 inches
Right Calf: 14 1/2 inches
Knee: 12 1/2 inches
What this tells me: In about two years, I have gained a few inches in some key areas: Bust, Hips, Tummy and Thigh. These are my problem areas that I really want to work on. My goal is to lose inches in those areas. I remember having a 28 inch waist. I want that back. I want my tummy WAY down. There's no reason it should be as extended as my breasts, ya know? I want my hips down to a 40. My thighs have to melt away, because I freakin' hate them.
This weekend was sort of a crap shoot for maintaining my calorie count, but I'm trying. Anyway, now I have a firm idea of where I was then, and where I am now. In a way, it's better than I thought. I was sure I would be a lot heavier now than I was then, however the extra inches make me grumpy. Hard work ahead, but it'll be worth it!
|
|
| Body Goals |
[Tue 2 Jun @ 9:45am] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
motivated |
] |
Hey all :D
Checking in again! It’s been a couple of weeks since I first started going to the gym with Brytani. So far, no change, but I can’t say that I’m going regularly. I’m also often slipping on the healthy diet plan. I’m still snacking on crap, and drinking far too much pop and such. I do feel... stronger. More motivated to do better.
Brytani has been an incredible support. For once in my life, I feel excited to go to the gym and motivated to do better and get healthier.
In fact, my talking about working out inspired a girl here in the office to start exercising herself! She joined Adventure Bootcamp and now we commiserate in the morning about our aching muscles :D She and I have been talking goals. Many people throw around numbers (I, for one, want to be back down to 140lbs, with a dream weight of 135), but in reality, its the look that I really want. So, I was thinking about it last night and I’ve developed some goals to help me stay motivated:
I really miss seeing my hip bones. I know that sounds wierd, but it’s true. You don’t need to be tiny to have your hip bones be visible. In fact, I loved it most when I was still a little soft in the belly. I love the curve of it, the shadows that sit there. Yum! This is a thin version of what I mean:
The other goal is something I never really considered before I saw this picture of Robert Pattison and Kristen Stewart filming New Moon (which, btw, looks horrendous):
I totally have a crush on back dimples. They’re just so adorable! I guess their official term is “Sacral Dips”.
Basically, I want to lose my muffin top and my pot belly. I never thought I’d have a huge bloated belly, but here I am. I want it gone. I want my body to speak in these subtle and cute ways that I absolutely love. There’s just something about those really small curves and dips that I adore. Probably the same reason that I love wrists and ankles (boo to cankles!) I think if I can obtain those goals, I’ll feel so much better about myself and it will be a good indicator of a much healthier life style.
|
|
| Goals and Update |
[Wed 20 May @ 11:27am] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 energetic |
] |
Hey guys,
Am I ever sheepish, posting this. It’s been a long time since the cleanse and since the weight loss. At the end of it all, I lost probably about 10-15lbs. I think I got down to about 146lbs. Sadly, I’m back up to about 150-155. My depression and PTSD resulted in a lot of binge eating, and a “I could care less” attitude that I’m now working on.
My new plan is to try to integrate healthy eating in to my everyday life, and upping my physical activities. I FINALLY went out and got my gym membership card and had a great day of cardio and upper body work with Brytani, one of my oldest friends. My plan, is to get back into yoga, and to visit the gym more regularly. It doesn’t have the baggage attached to it that bellydance does, and I think it will be new enough that it will keep my interest. Also, as a bonus, there are three goodlifes in my area. Seems a little much, doesn’t it? Well, for me it’s perfect. Two are women only, and the one closest to home is co-ed which is good for Pat and I. This gives me lots of options for class times and what sessions I want to go to. One specifically offers Yoga, which is a huge bonus for me.
For me, I am motivated by my current unhappy state. I had the feeling of my gut. I can’t really explain it well...it always feels extended, bloated and sick. I hate how tired I am going up the stairs. I miss my waist line. I miss how one of my favourite things about my body is currently hidden by fat (the shape of my hip bones/tummy, that graceful little curve). I hate how I’m always sick, gassy and nauseated.
My goals for my personal well being are these:
-Loose 15lbs for the wedding and for my personal fitness. I think 140 is a healthy weight for me, though I’m less concerned with numbers, and more focused on shape.
-Be more active, to boost my endurance and stamina, which is currently nonexistent.
-Be more spiritually active
-Start with the morning journals again, and weekly assignments from The Artist’s Way
-Stop being so hard on myself
|
|
| Beltane approaches! |
[Tue 28 Apr @ 9:23am] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
chipper |
] |
With Beltane approaching this weekend, I have a few plans that I’m looking forward to. First, I have my annual “spring cleaning”, which involves tidying up the house, sweeping out the negativity, cleansing the space and “re-sealing” all entrances. I will also finally be warding all of the entrances to the house (basically, a few herbs above every doorway so that we will know if someone with malicious intent is near)
Next, I have a couple of little rits that I want to do to bring us prosperity and abundance in the new year, as well as something to keep our relationship sweet.
I would also like to do an elemental rebalancing spell on myself to try and get my spirit rebalanced. On top of that, I’m going to be doing an uncrossing. I’ve managed to piss off a few unsavoury characters over the last couple of years, and I want to be sure that nothing is lingering.
I’m really excited about it :D I have a few things to head out and purchase, which I think I may do sometime in the near future. I need the following: big green pillar candle, Gold or Silver Coin, Acorn or Oak Leaf, Whole Cloves, Cinnamon Sticks, Malachite stone, small bag, allspice, Lavender, 4 red candles, red floating candle, round piece of wood to paint and hang, yarrow, wheat, thistle, and some ribbon (blue).
I’m really looking forward to it
|
|
| navigation |
| [ |
viewing |
| |
most recent entries |
] |
| [ |
go |
| |
earlier |
] |
|
|
|
|
![[info]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif){kind=small}
maevan's journal